S C R E A M S
S C R E A M S
S C R E A M S
Guess what? Midterm week is finally over! (Well actually it lasts for three days but the amount of stress that burdened the last three days was equal to the one I usually get for one week's worth.)
I'm finally free! Well, kinda. I have a biology assignment to do for this night, and another three hours of Inten.
[cue my cringing face]
And! Since on Monday I have neither tests nor assignments, I'm going to record a cover of Megan Batoon's Choreography: Work It!
The filming and editing will take two weeks! (hopefully)
God, I miss dancing. I've been really busy because of school lately, and I don't have the time to learn and record new dances. Basically, school takes away the things that I love to do. Thanks a lot, school.
her smile smells like coffee,
cigarettes, parched blood.
and when we kissed,
i could not ask for more.
November 26th was the birth date of my first love. November 26th, 2014 is the day where my first love turned sixteen. As ridiculous at this sounds, I had my first love when I was six. Maybe that's when I realized that I didn't hate him to that extent, I liked him.
You know, when you were a kid, every opposite gender is your enemy. He had always mocked me, played pranks on me, and did everything that made me hate him. I got all the reasons in the world to hate him. Yes, hate. I really, really, really hated him. I felt like I was bullied. He never assaulted me, though. Thinking back, what he did was very normal. At the age of 8 to 16, boys can be very naughty and sneaky. Huh, boys.
Well, that was what my fetus me thought. The weird feeling grew until I was twelve. His mother and mine were very close, to the extent that we took baths together sometimes. At the age of thirteen, we were admitted into different schools so we grew distant. We still went to the same course until the age of fourteen, but we were not as close as we used to be. It's the cycle of life, I noticed. You can't help but let people come and go from your life. It is how it's meant to be. Separation is not something you can hold on. All you can do is smile through it and let it pass while looking for the replacement.
The fifteen year old me has learnt how to face separation. I used to have separation anxiety back then, but not anymore. You can also say that I got stronger, mentally.
And at the age of fifteen, I was told that he's moving to another city because of his father's job. My mother told me to bid our goodbyes, but I refused. I did not show up at the airport.
On November 26th, 2014, I became anxious for no reason. I wanted to congratulate him because he survived another year without letting the devil inside him take over his body, but that'd be really weird, because we haven't talked at all for two years. And what I did, was stalk him on facebook.
You see, my hobbies would be watching movies, dancing, and surfing through wikipedia. And what I like to surf are Greek and Egyptian Myths, mental illness, and kinds of tortures (I know, that was a weird combination). I also have my own dance team in school.
And guess what I found on his facebook?
His latest status update was:
reading about Greek mythology kinda fun actually. I think I'll read Egyptians tomorrow
Done with Greek! Egypt at last
(he's the one on the far left.)
And I thought, life's pretty funny. We really had nothing in common in the past, but now he likes everything that I like. It's funny, in a sense of sadness. If only we liked doing the same things back then, we wouldn't drift away since having the same interests will never tear a friendship apart.
But then again, what is there to do? People are like lines that meet at one point, and part afterwards. And that is, my friend, is the cycle of life.
Since I kind of regret the past; I'd like to ask you how you're doing. I hope you're doing well, and sorry for not acknowleding your existence when we met last year.
Lots of regrets and love!
I miss you, old friend.
Merhaba! (It's 'Hello' in Turkish. Speaking of Turkey, Happy Eid Adha for those who celebrate!) The deadline is coming near, so I have to post something. Something. So I thought, I should write about my week. And here I am!
I went to school, and took lessons at Inten until 10 PM because I asked for more lessons (it's because I'm dumb, not ambitious) for the upcoming Math test on Wednesday. How lovely. OH and there's this guy at Inten who I dislike because he looks like a brat and acts like one. But the thing is, he's good looking, smart, and rich (lucky ass) (yes, I stalked him on instagram). I initiated a conversation with him to break the ice, but HE FREAKING IGNORED ME. HOW DARE HE IGNORE THIS CUTE YOUNG LADY.
Oops, it's really hard to stay focused. Well this guy that I was talking about CUT HIS HAIR HAHAHA HE LOOKED LESS ATTRACTIVE NOW YES.
I went to school, went home, and studied Maths from 4 to 10 PM. And then I took a break, and studied again until I fell asleep at 1 AM. Nice job, me.
I went to school and did the Math test. I got three right out of five, and I was quite pissed off at myself. Therefore after school I didn't feed myself, as a form of punishment. Seriously, why can't I be as smart as my friends? The pressure is so damn high, to be honest. I really want to go to ITB and study aeroneutics but with this brain of mine, it'll be really hard to get my ass there.
OH and remember the snobby guy on Monday? HE WORE A FREAKING MUSCLE T-SHIRT SJFNAJFIOAJBFBFJSBF DAYUM BOY but you're still a brat.
It is a national holiday sooo I cut my hair (again)! Here's a picture to let you know how I look like now.
That's my mom!
And I drove the car (YAS) since my mom's sick and she's not able to drive for a few months. YAAAAS I CAN'T WAIT TO GET MY DRIVING LICENSE. Oh and I studied History, Physics, and Indonesian because I have tests tomorrow.
And that is all. Ciao!
I wonder what it’s like to be at the top of the food chain. Life must be much more easier, not handling the amount of stress; the one I’ve been trying to bear until now. I do feel them. I just don’t show them. The thing is, when I told my friends that I’ve been feeling stressful studying in Sanur, they looked genuinely surprised. And when I asked why, they said: “Because you don’t look stressed to me. You smile and joke around all the time!"
And you might ask, how do I cope with the amount of stress that lingers? Well, the answer is dancing, music, and some other melancholic stuff. And some drops of violence as well. Haha. I like seeing what people used to do in the past to punish those who had broke the law.
Oops, I got distracted. Shall us go back to the main topic? We shall.
The thing is, I’m quite fond of K-Music. K-pop is the acronym for Korean Music. Basically it’s music created in South Korea. I like them because of the catchy music and the fancy dancing they have. The choreographies are eye endearing. The music videos are interesting, too. Well, some of them. You see, this industry of theirs usually have this thing called “concept” that they’re going to pull off every comeback (comeback is their term for releasing new music). Some of the groups may use storylines in their videos to tell the viewers their ‘concept’, while the others use their choreographies instead.
The links below are examples of music videos with a story inside it:
Nell 5th Album_그리고 남겨진 것들_The Day Before
Akdong Musician(AKMU) - 얼음들(MELTED) M/V
THE ARK(디아크) _ The Light(빛)
I won’t tell you what the videos are about, because I don’t like spoiling. But my personal favorite is the first.
The next video I’m going to give you is an example of a music video without a story, which will explain the concept by their choreography.
SUPER JUNIOR 슈퍼주니어 _SPY_MUSIC VIDEO
The choreography in the video above tells us about how the members of the group are spies and how they’re chasing and ‘catching’ the woman they love.
And that is all. By the way, I decorated my wall!
And yes, that is Van Gogh's Starry Night. My uncle painted it for me.
Soon, my wall will be full of memories I've made with my friends and family! Can't wait to fill the spaces.
P. S: It rained yesterday! You can't believe how much I squealed that night. I contemplated with myself about lots of things. I was quite delightful yesterday. I had coffee, too! Well, it’s been a while since it rained.
not much goes on inside my head anymore.
In my house of sadness, may I invite you in?
pain is inevitable. suffering, is optional.
CHECK OUT MY TEAM'S PERFORMANCE BELOW!