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autumn child

My First Love.

25/9/2015

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//11:01 PM.

November 26th was the birth date of my first love. November 26th, 2014 is the day where my first love turned sixteen. As ridiculous at this sounds, I had my first love when I was six. Maybe that's when I realized that I didn't hate him to that extent, I liked him. 

You know, when you were a kid, every opposite gender is your enemy. He had always mocked me, played pranks on me, and did everything that made me hate him. I got all the reasons in the world to hate him. Yes, hate. I really, really, really hated him. I felt like I was bullied. He never assaulted me, though. Thinking back, what he did was very normal. At the age of 8 to 16, boys can be very naughty and sneaky. Huh, boys. 

Well, that was what my fetus me thought. The weird feeling grew until I was twelve. His mother and mine were very close, to the extent that we took baths together sometimes. At the age of thirteen, we were admitted into different schools so we grew distant. We still went to the same course until the age of fourteen, but we were not as close as we used to be. It's the cycle of life, I noticed. You can't help but let people come and go from your life. It is how it's meant to be. Separation is not something you can hold on. All you can do is smile through it and let it pass while looking for the replacement.

The fifteen year old me has learnt how to face separation. I used to have separation anxiety back then, but not anymore. You can also say that I got stronger, mentally.

And at the age of fifteen, I was told that he's moving to another city because of his father's job. My mother told me to bid our goodbyes, but I refused. I did not show up at the airport.

On November 26th, 2014, I became anxious for no reason. I wanted to congratulate him because he survived another year without letting the devil inside him take over his body, but that'd be really weird, because we haven't talked at all for two years. And what I did, was stalk him on facebook.


You see, my hobbies would be watching movies, dancing, and surfing through wikipedia. And what I like to surf are Greek and Egyptian Myths, mental illness, and kinds of tortures (I know, that was a weird combination). I also have my own dance team in school.

And guess what I found on his facebook?

His latest status update was: 

reading about Greek mythology kinda fun actually. I think I'll read Egyptians tomorrow
and:
Done with Greek! Egypt at last
and:
Picture
(he's the one on the far left.)
And I thought, life's pretty funny. We really had nothing in common in the past, but now he likes everything that I like. It's funny, in a sense of sadness. If only we liked doing the same things back then, we wouldn't drift away since having the same interests will never tear a friendship apart. 


But then again, what is there to do? People are like lines that meet at one point, and part afterwards. And that is, my friend, is the cycle of life.

Since I kind of regret the past; I'd like to ask you how you're doing. I hope you're doing well, and sorry for not acknowleding your existence when we met last year.



Lots of regrets and love!


I miss you, old friend.
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